i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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