she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize