Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
