you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
