I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
