it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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