Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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