Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
