Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
smell my finger.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
