I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
