he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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