You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
