Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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