Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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