new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
