I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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