Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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