I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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