And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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