Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
