wrigley field is MILF paradise
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
