areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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