I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize