I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize