He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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