My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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