..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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