His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize