I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
