I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
