I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
