Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
