so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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