Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
