I'm going to jail i love you
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
