Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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