I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
