All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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