Bisexual people are plain selfish.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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