So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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