Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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