Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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