hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
