12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i dont even know how to be here
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
