About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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