he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
