I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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