birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We have started to decorate penises.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
