am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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