covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
