I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
