Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
