you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
