Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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