Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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