I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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