that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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