Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
