yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
