Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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