I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
