it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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